We live in a finite world, right? When our car runs out of gas, the tank is empty and we find a filling station and add gas. When we finish a bottle of water, it’s empty and we stop drinking. Or get another one. We empty wastebaskets. So we are constantly in this full or empty mode in our daily lives. That’s a bilateral way of thinking about the world around us.
But tonight, I was thinking about reservoirs. Internal ones. How deep can we go to draw upon additional resources of patience, for example. How much understanding can we have about something before we reach limits? I’m starting to think that we don’t have an empty setting. We’re not cars, after all. What if our reserves for demonstrating our commitment to someone are, well, limitless. They don’t have to do just one more thing before we throw in the towel or yell at them. Where did the concept of personal limits derive from anyhow?
It’s different also from having reached a certain point in a relationship when change is overdue (like the one I was describing in the post, “free at last.”) That one had been dangling for a really long time. I didn’t reach a certain limit so much as I decided to bring things up in conversation–to talk about it so as to improve things, perhaps. Met by recriminations that shut everything down, it was time to go. I did not leave because I had reached my limit–I would have had plenty more except that there was no mutuality going on. So, maybe having limits, or reaching limits is really a choice rather than just sitting there, thinking we are on empty. Just like choosing happiness, we can choose to be. . .limitless.
Right away, when I considered this way of thinking about myself, I felt myself relax. I didn’t have to act as though I was reaching my wit’s end. Or getting tired of some same old thing. I could choose NOT to do that. And keep on going.
Wow. So, how’s that for energy changing itself in one’s being?