mulberryshoots

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" ~ Mary Oliver

Category: Life & Spirit

consolation . . .

Consolation 3Sometimes when we’re feeling down in the dumps, something happens out of the blue that jolts us back to counting our blessings.

The other day, we were watching the local news when we saw that there was a raging fire on the main street of a neighboring town. Alarmed, I remembered that we knew a sweet, vibrant woman who had moved to that vicinity when they downsized their home, who also happened to be the daughter of my former piano tuner.

T., the father, had tuned my Steinway grand piano when I lived in Lexington while the kids were in high school. He always wore a suit and tie when he came to service the piano. When we met his daughter, K. at a book party given by some friends, we were delighted to learn Read the rest of this entry »

“wild geese” . . .

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One of Mary Oliver’s poems, “Wild Geese” may be a universal favorite and is often quoted, as it is here below. But first, I wanted to reflect on why it is so popular.

I think it might be because many of us women are used to blaming ourselves for everything under the sun when someone we know is unhappy. Especially, if we also happen to be mothers. We will go to inordinate lengths to make others feel all right again even when we are bruised ourselves.

But never mind. The most important thing to do is to brush away crumbs of conflict. We put away our little heart-shaped box of true feelings that escaped for awhile ~ as though we didn’t really have a right to have them in the first place. If I’m the only one who experiences this phenomenom, then please tell me otherwise.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver ~

the twelfth of never . . .

What do you think is better? To go along with people that you love, brushing aside times when they treat you rudely? Or to talk instead about one’s true feelings, even if it is painful to do so? Family gathering time during the holidays, which have already been kicked off by Thanksgiving and now leading to Hannukah and Christmas, is rife with opportunity for these kinds of occasions. For Read the rest of this entry »

embracing change . . .

You know how we hear a lot about the concept of change? The only constant in life is change, etc. etc.? Some people are wary of change and do not welcome it because they’re happy with what they think is the status quo. I think of myself as liking change because I need and want a lot of stimulation, which is why I read so much and explore new topics, poring over books, listening to CDs by musicians that I hadn’t heard of up to now. All that new stuff to think about and consider.

Today, as I was going through my stacks of magazines as part of my Unhoarding Exercise, I came across a copy of “Shambhala Sun” a Buddhist journal with the phrase, “Embrace Change” on the front. I got around to reading the article this afternoon (which is why Unhoarding takes such a long Read the rest of this entry »

un-hoarding, part 2 . . .

I wanted to note that I’m writing this post on what’s called “Black Friday,” a day of shopping frenzy stirred up by merchants for us to acquire more and more things, hopefully ones that will make the recipients (including ourselves) happier. I’m not against shopping and acquiring stuff so much as I want to be more conscious and intelligent about my own motivations. That is why the book that I talked about in the last post has been so helpful towards developing these self-insights.

I found that I had to wade through half of the book, stories of hard-core hoarders and the author’s experiences with them before I came to what appeared to be the heart and nuts and bolts of the book. There Read the rest of this entry »

un-hoarding . . .

Yesterday, I read a column by Jane Brody in the NYTimes describing a book on un-hoarding that she said was the best self-help book she has read in forty-seven years. That’s a weighty claim to make by someone who dishes out scientific and everyday advice on a regular basis. This book supposedly approaches de-cluttering in a pragmatic way that also connects the reader with what is really going on underneath that accounts for us to hold onto things.

It could be an association or an obligation hidden in one’s psyche that one wants to memorialize. I’m not sure, but the book is due to arrive today and I’m looking forward to finally figuring out how to clear out the rest of my stuff. Read the rest of this entry »

new normal . . .

the naked duck

This is Sunday before Thanksgiving, and usually, I will have done my food shopping for the week’s preparations: fresh turkey, not too big; a couple of pounds of chestnuts to roast, peel and add to a bread stuffing made with Pepperidge Farm herb breadcrumbs, Bell’s seasoning, fresh parsley, vidalia onions, chicken broth; potatoes to boil for mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts with bacon, peas and salad; pumpkin pie or some kind of harvest-like dessert.

So, today, I was in Whole Foods and noticed that beside the very expensive brined organic turkeys, were rows of Bell and Evans fresh duckling. Since it’s the two of us this year, I thought, well, why not have duckling instead? Peking Duck, to be exact. A simple meal with roasted duckling, carved with crispy pieces of golden brown skin, scallions, hoisin sauce smeared on homemade wrappers. When I brought up the idea with G., his face lit up and he nodded in agreement. And Read the rest of this entry »

“advice to myself” . . .

I was reading an interview/article about Louise Erdrich, the writer today. Actually, I guess it was two articles. The first one was this morning in the New York Times newspaper that her latest novel, “The Round House” had won the National Book Award. And she had some stiff competition too.

By coincidence this afternoon, I happened upon an interview with her in the literary magazine “Poets and Writers,” a publication that I sometimes find really inspiring and many times, am as easily put off by it. Must be the frustration I have about being a better writer for myself rather than trying to beat the publishing system. Anyhow, that’s neither here nor there.

The interview in P&W came (obviously) before she won the National Book Award. It’s interesting that she thinks of herself as Native Read the rest of this entry »

a turning leaf . . .

How many times have you decided to start your life over? You know, the “this is the first day of the rest of my life?” kind of thing? Turning the page, starting a new volume of your life’s story, whatever phrases we want to use to denote our true readiness (this time!) to make big changes within and outside ourselves.

I smile as I write this because I’m not trying to make a joke about it. In fact, I think it’s one of the greatest benefits of being American and living in a country that believes in second, third and fourth chances. A populace that forgives people who transgress (think Read the rest of this entry »

surviving . . .

It’s a sunny morning today and I have been thinking about the concept of survival. There’s been a lot to survive these days, even more than we’re used to: Hurricane Sandy and the Nor-easter that just blew through here before we had a chance to get our snow tires on. The election with its omnipresent barrage of name-calling and finger-pointing. Now, fears of a fiscal cliff. It doesn’t seem as though the press is willing to let up for one second from pounding us into the ground with more things to worry about.

On a more personal level, there are many stories of survival as well. Those who lost their homes due to weather, but not their lives. Kevin Krim, the father of two slain children in New York, who spoke with courage and grace at a memorial service in Avery Fisher Hall to remember them with joy as well as to mourn them. Long lines of people waiting to vote, waiting to get gas, waiting for power, waiting for trains and busses. All of the folks who came from far and wide to help repair flooded infrastructure and to provide help for those in need.

There was an animated window on the New York Times website on election day which asked the reader to fill in one word that described the feeling you had on that day. Words like “hopeful,” “worried,” and “anxious” appeared. After some reflection, I typed in the word, “American,” because for all the ups and downs, disagreements and vicissitudes that we as a country have gone through and continue to endure, we survive for the most part to take on life with something to say for ourselves, another day.

Surviving used to be taken as a kind of consolation for having made it whether or not it was how you might have wanted life to be. Now, it seems to have moved more to the center and describes day-to-day life. Even so, it’s worth acknowledging and taking a moment to be grateful for all that we still have, don’t you think?