making things right . . .
Have you ever had an uneasy feeling about some loose ends that you’re not comfortable with? I have, although only a few, thank goodness. This holiday season, I’ve taken care of one of the most important ones: that is, to send a much loved Chinese carpet hanging of the Eight Immortals which hung in my late mother’s apartment to the family that took care of her for over twenty years during the last phase of her life. It was a thank you and appreciation for all of the times that they included her as family at Thanksgiving and Christmas, Easter and at other family gatherings of their very large clan. She had knitted sweaters for just about everybody there while she was alive.
Reconnecting with a niece (one of my brother’s daughters) was also important while she went through some medical procedures right before the holidays. We’ve had such a nice correspondence ever since and I intend to keep in touch with her as she prepares for college. My grown-up (almost) granddaughter, A. came and visited with her friend, M. the day after Christmas. The cinnamon rolls weren’t as tender the day after they were baked, but we had a lunch with leftover filet of beef, sliced up on toast with gravy on top. Two batches of crispy, skillet potatoes later, we played the piano for each other and finished off our visit by cracking a Droste orange chocolate apple for dessert.
I don’t know about you but I find there are other loose ends lurking around in the background of one’s consciousness: an ex-husband, an ex-old boyfriend, perhaps someone you’re not friends with anymore but wish you hadn’t parted ways. Some of these, I find, might still be accessible but mostly not. With the holiday goings on, especially the birthday DVD, I can see things more clearly. And most of all, that I want to be intentional everyday to provide loving gestures to those who are important to me. And not to let my usual crankiness get in the way. That’s a pretty big idea: to catch the cranky in time and to crank up the love and affection to communicate how I really feel to those around me.
Perhaps that’s the best way to make things right, all around. Any other ideas?
Such a touching post. I will definitely second the “cranky” wisdom and make that an aspiration for the new year! Thank you.
Thanks for your comment, Shelly. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much crankiness was an underlying condition until I watched my birthday DVD a few times. There was so much love and happiness in the images, and I remember being overtired or grumpy from making the effort and providing for everyone. But no more! I’m going to stand up straight and be as happy as I really am. Finally!