mulberryshoots

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" ~ Mary Oliver

“safe for democracy” . . .

DSC_0424_4I’ve been in a kind of time-out this week during the day. When I went in on Tuesday as a potential juror, I was surprised to be empaneled on the jury for a criminal case in the Superior Court of this district. The experience was a real eye opener.

First of all, there’s a new courthouse building with large high-ceilinged rooms and technology such as TV screens on which introductory videos were played for the jury pool. More important, there was a tone and approach towards us jurors from the get-go: which was a highly respectful and appreciative tone towards the privilege of serving as jurors, for our taking the time and paying the expense (driving and parking fees) for serving on juries.

We learned that the American jury system is unique in the world. And that visiting jurists from Europe and Asia are befuddled by how our system can get individual citizens to serve on juries on their own volition. We were shown that having a vote and serving on a jury are fundamental rights and obligations for our democracy to work.

A judge came to the jury pool to thank us all for being there and for being patient while the trial lawyers prepared to argue their cases. When we were empaneled, our judge did the same thing, thanking us and instructing us not to talk about the case with ANYONE, not our spouse, not by email, not to each other. . . until the deliberations were completed. We, the jury, complied. Most of the time that we were sequestered in the jury deliberation room when we were not in the courtroom, we were near silent, not much chit chat among ourselves. We were polite but kept our distance socially.

Our case was estimated to last for four or five days but yesterday, we returned our verdict at the end of the third day. It was a complex Read the rest of this entry »

for myself . . .

DSC_0832Once a long time ago, (and I’ve written about this before,) someone said to me, “Do it for you, don’t do it for me.” I can’t remember anymore what it was about but it has begun to sink in how often I do things for others–especially when they haven’t asked me to do anything at all. Does this make sense to anybody but me?

I was talking about it with G. last night and G. said, “live your life,” and “keep it simple.” If this blog has been about anything, it has been about these two statements. Ironically, I seem to be the one Read the rest of this entry »

one by one . . .

dsc_0022You know how things are when you’re about two weeks away from THE DAY if you are celebrating Christmas and things, although they seem do-able, start to feel a little overwhelming?

I’m happy to report that we have made a good deal of headway by discussing logistical puzzles that have given way to solutions that offered up more possibilities than when we were boxed into the “way it had to be.” One example for me and my daughters was that M. wanted very much to stop by H-Mart, a humongous asian grocery store halfway here on Christmas Eve day to be able to buy thin-sliced Kobe beef Read the rest of this entry »

persimmons . . .

DSCN4374I don’t know about you but I look forward to this time of year because persimmons appear in the markets. There are two kinds of persimmons: the hard, squat ones that you can eat called fuyu; and the graceful pointed ones that will pucker up your mouth something awful if you are impatient and eat them before they turn almost to mush when they are ripe. These are called hachiya persimmons, are hard to find and can also be expensive when you come across them. They’re worth it though.

Because they are purchased hard, I usually have them lined up in my kitchen window to ripen. My daughter, M. exclaimed when I showed her my kitchen on Skype the other day, murmuring that she remembered them Read the rest of this entry »

being (more) known . . .

DSC_0146Well, I did it. It took me ALL DAY to put together the 200 posts of the blog so far into a hard copy volume the way that I wanted it to be. There wasn’t really that much to do after the transfer of the posts to the website (Blog2Print) went through. That worked after the third try. But the rest of it took hours: adding 8 pages of family photos to MyPages, deciding about the front and back cover photographs, what the dedication page would look like. Now I can see what book publishing people do for a living.

Because it was the last day for a 20% discount (which for me was the make-or-break to do it in the first place,) the website was sluggish, no, that’s not the right description: it was a breakdown lane. The photo upload feature was hard to find, never mind use– and the appearance of that little multi-colored spinning ball made my heart drop every time it stopped things cold, you had to exit the site and Read the rest of this entry »

time in . . .

DSC_0009_2This is the 200th post on a blog that first appeared on February 11, 2011. It’s truly amazing to me that since then, there have been 11,070 views from 75 countries. Even more touching to me has been the gradual evolution of a group of readers who regularly visit the blog and who stay in touch with me about its contents.

In preparing to codify what I am thinking of calling “volume one” of “Mulberryshoots,” I reviewed about seventy-five of my most recent posts and am struck by the recurring themes of life and death, especially for those who are taken before their time and those who remain here to remember and to share wisdom about what we have learned the hard way. There’s lots of flowers, plants that were lost and those that took their place. Even more about food, cooking and its relationship to our feeling of being taken care of and of taking care of others.

I hope that the blog will be pertinent, entertaining and perhaps even useful to some readers. Today, I’m going to take advantage of a publishing discount and have volume one created in hard copy as a remembrance for my daughters and granddaughters. At least someday, they will have a chance to know me not just as a mother and a grandmother, but as the person whose voice can be heard in these essays.

Thank you.

steep hills . . .

DSC_0099I was talking with G. this morning about how sometimes we go through long periods of what feel like hard times. And that life is not simply black and white between happy and unhappy but often grey for much of it.

I know that one of my daughters, who seems truly happy now, went through years of isolation and difficulty, personally and professionally. Another has been having her ups and downs as well. As for myself, my clearest memory as a young child was wanting to hide in the kitchen cabinet under the sink of the big house where lots of us were staying in Shanghai while fleeing from Japanese and Communist armies who were fighting each other at the time. The noisy company of all my cousins was something I withdrew from to be alone in order to Read the rest of this entry »

consolation . . .

Consolation 3Sometimes when we’re feeling down in the dumps, something happens out of the blue that jolts us back to counting our blessings.

The other day, we were watching the local news when we saw that there was a raging fire on the main street of a neighboring town. Alarmed, I remembered that we knew a sweet, vibrant woman who had moved to that vicinity when they downsized their home, who also happened to be the daughter of my former piano tuner.

T., the father, had tuned my Steinway grand piano when I lived in Lexington while the kids were in high school. He always wore a suit and tie when he came to service the piano. When we met his daughter, K. at a book party given by some friends, we were delighted to learn Read the rest of this entry »

“wild geese” . . .

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One of Mary Oliver’s poems, “Wild Geese” may be a universal favorite and is often quoted, as it is here below. But first, I wanted to reflect on why it is so popular.

I think it might be because many of us women are used to blaming ourselves for everything under the sun when someone we know is unhappy. Especially, if we also happen to be mothers. We will go to inordinate lengths to make others feel all right again even when we are bruised ourselves.

But never mind. The most important thing to do is to brush away crumbs of conflict. We put away our little heart-shaped box of true feelings that escaped for awhile ~ as though we didn’t really have a right to have them in the first place. If I’m the only one who experiences this phenomenom, then please tell me otherwise.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver ~

the twelfth of never . . .

What do you think is better? To go along with people that you love, brushing aside times when they treat you rudely? Or to talk instead about one’s true feelings, even if it is painful to do so? Family gathering time during the holidays, which have already been kicked off by Thanksgiving and now leading to Hannukah and Christmas, is rife with opportunity for these kinds of occasions. For Read the rest of this entry »