"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" ~ Mary Oliver

Tag: inner truth

“Focus and CROP!” to get to one’s inner truth . . .

"focused and cropped" . . .

“focused and cropped” . . .

Yesterday at lunch, my granddaughter conveyed some advice she received from a mentor who used a photography metaphor that is apropos to life in general:

“Focus and crop!”

As a result, she decided to drop one major at school and focus on an internship that she applied for next summer.

I can really identify with that because it’s so easy to get distracted in life doing things that you don’t sincerely want to do but feel you should because “it would be nice.” I think people can tell when there’s a twinge of resentment or perhaps a lack of whole-heartedness in putting forth social niceties. So why keep doing that?

What also seems to be coming more in focus for me is that it’s not what others do or don’t do; or how they do it that’s truly meaningful. It’s how I feel towards them that’s more important for me to get a firm handle on. Otherwise, one can be flung back and forth in a morass of flotsam and jetsam depending upon what other people do – reacting rather than being still and grounded in oneself.

It seems to me that being honest with oneself is truly what matters in order to “focus and crop.” A lot of people can’t do it: be honest, that is. To me, it’s NOT someone else’s behavior and whether they might change or not that is the precursor to making important decisions in my life. Rather, it’s the quality of the emotional connection you have inside yourself towards that person that one needs to measure and ground oneself to, whatever that might be. Cropping out all the concomitant noise that can contain envy, competition, judgment or even a habit of self-punishment can make the picture much more clear – even if it’s not what we’d necessarily prefer to see in our heart of hearts.

So I guess focus and cropping are two different things. Focusing on what’s truly within (including the good, the bad and the ugly) is one thing. Cropping out all the other crap (pardon my French!) makes the picture more legible in a second step of the process.

Sometimes, we may feel initially that the emotional connections we have with people are not strong enough or have been so worn down by time and circumstance that there’s just not much there any longer. Only we ourselves know whether there is a deep reservoir or only a trickling mountain stream within. After awhile, what feels at first like a trickling stream opens up into a deep reservoir the size of the Mississippi River. I don’t think anyone can underestimate the depth of maternal love, even after a lifetime of missed opportunities. Least of all, myself.

Life doesn’t have to be that hard if we can be honest with ourselves within. That’s where the focus and cropping really helps!  Great advice! Thanks, A.!



the twelfth of never . . .

What do you think is better? To go along with people that you love, brushing aside times when they treat you rudely? Or to talk instead about one’s true feelings, even if it is painful to do so? Family gathering time during the holidays, which have already been kicked off by Thanksgiving and now leading to Hannukah and Christmas, is rife with opportunity for these kinds of occasions. For Read the rest of this entry »

true or false? . . .

I’ve spent most of my life alone. Oh, I’ve had people around me at times, but for most intents and purposes, I’ve led a pretty solitary life. Perhaps that’s one reason I like the Taoist hermit model. It feels comfortable to me. For that, I’ve learned how to trust myself and my instincts.

Something happened a little awhile ago that surprised me. I could have questioned it to death, but my instincts told me that my intuition was correct about what happened and probably how it happened to come about. So was it in fact true?

With this long and carefully honed sense of things for myself, I think I can also tell what’s false. At least for me. Some might say that I’m just very opinionated, thinking that I am right about things all the time. I don’t think I’m right all the time, in fact. I think that most of the time, I’m just right about things for myself. That’s all. There is no real right or wrong or true or false. It’s how we perceive things in the end. Or at the beginning of things. And what feels right to my inner self.

This post seems kind of rhyme-y to me. That is, there’s no real rhyme or reason for it. Is there?